Whatcha gonna do when they come for you? Today we have three stories of men behaving badly:
Bad boy No. 1: Police in a Connecticut town arrested a man who ordered his 9-foot-long pet python to attack the officers. The snake, not known for its response to voice commands, ignored the man.
The man’s big mistake was in not hitting the correct notes in his Tarzan yell.
Bad boy No. 2: A Stanwood man was arrested after he, armed with a baseball bat, chased a man he believed — wrongly — had ridden a dirt bike through his home and had had an affair with his girlfriend, police say. Police could find no evidence of a dirt bike being ridden through the suspect’s home.
His big mistake was in listening to the voice commands of the pink elephants.
Bad boy No. 3: The Seattle Mariners are reportedly discussing cutting their losses and sending first baseman Richie Sexson, he of the .212 batting average, packing.
His big mistake, when armed with a baseball bat, was in chasing pitches he believed — wrongly — he was capable of hitting.
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