Amy Patterson isn’t shy about speaking out when she hears a certain word used in a particular way.
“I’m sorry, your shoes are not ‘retarded.’ Your car is not ‘retarded.’ Think about my daughter when you use that word,” Patterson said.
The Lake Stevens woman was describing how she pipes up whenever someone within earshot says “retarded” in a derogatory way.
She and her husband, Chad, have a 7-year-old girl with Down syndrome. She knows that mental retardation is a diagnosis, and accepts that usage, although today the term developmentally disabled is more often heard.
Patterson called Friday to talk about End the R-word Day, an awareness effort designating Wednesday as a day to “spread the word to end the word.” A Web site, www.r-word.org, lists organizations supporting the campaign, including Special Olympics, Autism Speaks, the Arc of the United States and about 200 others.
The site has a place to sign on to the following pledge: “I pledge and support the elimination of the derogatory use of the r-word from everyday speech and promote the acceptance and inclusion of people with intellectual disabilities.”
Freedom of speech is dear to my heart. And I’m happy to deride political correctness taken to ridiculous extremes. They’re garbage men — OK, garbage collectors — not sanitation engineers. That said, I couldn’t agree more with Patterson. It’s mean, insensitive and no less disparaging than a racial slur to call someone a “retard” or to use “retarded” in offhand speech as a synonym for anything negative.
I was appalled when I read a Jan. 26 report in The Wall Street Journal that Rahm Emanuel, President Barack Obama’s chief of staff, used “retarded” as part of a vulgar phrase aimed at liberal activists. According to the newspaper, Emanuel’s stinging, profanity-laced words during a meeting in August targeted proposed attack ads against Democrats opposed to Obama’s health care plan.
The Los Angeles Times later reported that Emanuel met with a Special Olympics group “to explain and apologize.” His words were utterly indefensible. Sarah Palin couldn’t have said it better than she did. The former GOP vice presidential nominee, whose youngest child has Down syndrome, wrote on Facebook: “Are You Capable of Decency, Rahm Emanuel?”
Thinking about the word “retarded,” I see two issues. One is how we describe people with developmental disabilities. The other is the r-word as it’s used by unthinking kids on a playground. Some kids, and some adults too, use “retarded” to label what they don’t like, even something as inane as a song on the radio.
Michelle Forgus, executive director of Sherwood Community Services, has much to say about both issues. The Lake Stevens-based agency helps people with developmental and other disabilities, providing early childhood services, assistive technology and employment help.
As for kids thoughtlessly using “retarded,” Forgus said she is hard and fast in her response. “I have a 9-year-old son and a 12-year-old daughter. They are absolutely forbidden from using that word,” she said.
And for describing people who in the past were called “mentally retarded,” Forgus said there’s been a movement toward “people-first” language.
“It puts the person first to say, ‘She is a person with a disability.’ People are not a group — ‘the retarded’ or ‘the disabled.’ That’s just a way of lumping everyone together,” Forgus said. “What we really want people to recognize, no matter what disability a person may have, they have a lot of abilities and gifts, just like the rest of us.”
Rebecca Christofferson and her husband, Eric, have a daughter with Rett syndrome. Six-year-old Caitlyn can’t talk, has trouble using her hands and suffers from seizures.
The Everett mother said people sometimes talk in front of Caitlyn as though she can’t hear them. She can. “I can’t imagine her hurt if she ever heard the term refer to her that way,” Rebecca Christofferson said. The word “retard,” she said, “sends chills down my spine.”
Patterson, who is quick to correct people when she hears it, said it’s time for the r-word to go the way of degrading racial and religious slurs.
“It is time to really be aware of just how hurtful that word can be,” Patterson said. “It’s not about being politically correct. It’s about respect — respect for other human beings.”
Respect. There’s an r-word to keep.
Julie Muhlstein: 425-339-3460, muhlstein@heraldnet.com.
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