Overheard on the police beat

“Unfortunately, he was in the shower so he was kinda busy, but I left the statement there.”

“Suspect description: dark clothes, bicycle, beanie.”
“Yeah, he was behind me when he saw me the second time and then he pedaled away.”

“It turned out to be more of a hitting-on situation than a kidnapping situation.”

“I’ve dealt with him when he’s drunk, usually walking around the Mill Creek, 164th area. He’s usually pretty compliant until you get him to his house.”

“What is this rogue tow truck doing?”
“I don’t know if he thinks he’s part of the party or if he thinks we’re going to break down.”

“I asked the woman where she was hurt. She said, ‘Everywhere.’ I thought, ‘Oh, you’re one of them.’”

“When I was a kid growing up, it wasn’t Christmas until the county sheriffs showed up at our house.”

“Reports of a man walking in the area, possibly smoking the marijuana.”

“He wanted to go to jail tonight, but I wasn’t obliging him.”

“He’s always a runner. He’ll run every single time. He’s never not run from us.”

“I’ll be the brains, you be the muscle. Stand by.”
“Oh great, now we’re really in trouble.”