‘Last Stand’: A decent comeback vehicle for Arnold

  • By Robert Horton, Herald Movie Critic
  • Thursday, January 17, 2013 8:43am
  • LifeGo-See-Do

Likably ludicrous and armed to the teeth, “The Last Stand” is an updated Western of limited plot, overwhelmed by the iconography of its star.

Yes, THAT star: This is former California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger’s return to leading roles. It’s been a long spell since our heavily accented friend held down the center of a movie, and “The Last Stand” turns out to be a serviceable re-entry vehicle.

The man’s age is showing, as the film itself points out once or twice. If Big Arnie cruised through much of his career providing the beefcake, he’s now looking more like well-tanned jerky: lined, seasoned, dry in every way.

That’s not a bad thing; Schwarzenegger actually looks cool here, at least in close-up. (The body’s worn down these days.) We need no elaborate explanation of how this larger-than-life fellow came to be the sheriff of a small town on the Arizona-Mexico border, although we get one anyway.

When the feds lose track of a lethal Mexican drug lord (Eduardo Noriega) and let him escape (in a super-advance-model Corvette that can go 200 mph), the road back to Mexico leads right through the sheriff’s sleepy little town.

Why, the lawman would be a fool to rely on his untested deputy (Jaimie Alexander, from “Thor”), a hungover Iraq War vet (Rodrigo Santoro), and his chubby sidekick (Luis Guzman) for his only help in stopping the fleeing villain.

So he enlists a looney-tunes gun enthusiast, played by “Jackass” star Johnny Knoxville. Knoxville plays a role no larger than any other supporting actor, but receives co-billing with Schwarzenegger on the poster, a turn of events that makes me unexpectedly sad. How the mighty have fallen, and all that.

Knoxville aside, many of the actors appear to have been assembled to make Arnold’s accent sound invisible. Craziest in this vein is Peter Stormare, the always-fun Swedish actor, who channels a Southern accent (and I don’t mean Southern Sweden) and sounds like he got chicken-fried steak stuck in his throat.

The hiring of Korean director Kim Jee-woon (“I Saw the Devil”) to helm “The Last Stand” lends an air of the cutting edge to this project. The action tends to be standard, nevertheless. A curious car chase in a cornfield feels like this director’s kind of thing, but a disconcerting amount of boom-boom is poorly laid out.

The spirit is willing, however, which is why this ridiculous picture gets a passing grade. It also has a consistent sense of humor, not least how it takes for granted that all Americans have a stash of guns in their possession, ready for the next onslaught to break out.

And then there is Schwarzenegger, whose layoff from acting (well, movie acting) has not sharpened his skills. As much as I enjoyed the tiny pangs of 1980s nostalgia while watching “The Last Stand,” it must be said that when Arnie conveys the simplest gestures he still goes through mighty convolutions of face and body; even enjoying a morning coffee in a sleepy diner taxes him.

Welcome back, big man, but relax — you don’t have the California state legislature to worry about anymore.

“The Last Stand” (2½ stars)

A comeback vehicle for Arnold Schwarzenegger, who plays a small-town Arizona sheriff facing down a fleeing drug kingpin. The action’s in place and so is the humor, courtesy director Kim Jee-woon, although Big Arnie himself seems no more fluid at conveying the simplest gesture than he ever was.

Rating: R, for violence, language

Showing: Alderwood Mall, Cinebarre, Everett Stadium, Galaxy Monroe, Marysville, Stanwood, Meridian, Thornton Place, Woodenville, Cascade Mall.

Talk to us

> Give us your news tips.

> Send us a letter to the editor.

> More Herald contact information.

More in Life

Lewis the cat weaves his way through a row of participants during Kitten Yoga at the Everett Animal Shelter on Saturday, April 13, 2024, in Everett, Washington. (Ryan Berry / The Herald)
Downward cat? At kitten yoga in Everett, it’s all paw-sitive vibes

It wasn’t a stretch for furry felines to distract participants. Some cats left with new families — including a reporter.

Matt Stewart, left, and Janice Ayala, right, spin during country dance lessons at Normanna Lodge on Tuesday, April 9, 2024 in Everett, Washington. Normanna Lodge will be hosting country dance next Tuesday during PBR Stampede. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Everett Stampede aims to become a Western-themed tradition

The new weeklong event combines a popular Professional Bull Riders event with live music, two-step dancing and more.

Music, theater and more: What’s happening in Snohomish County

Edmonds Center for the Arts plays host to comedian Don Friesen on Friday and Grammy-nominated vocal group säje on Sunday.

2024 Honda Civic Type R (Photo provided by Honda)
2024 Honda Civic Type R

Developed in Japan, and track-tested around the world, the Civic R Type delivers 315 horsepower and 310 lb-ft of torque, making it Honda’s most powerful production vehicle in the U.S.

Suomenlinna
Soul sisters Helsinki and Tallinn are pearls of the Baltic

While they have their own stories to tell, these cities share a common heritage of Swedish and Russian influences.

My trip to Iraq was canceled, so why can’t I get my $7,590 back?

When Diane Gottlieb’s tour of Iraq is canceled, the tour operator offers her a voucher for a future trip. But she wants a refund.

How to help your youngster become a successful adult

Surprisingly, it has little to do with how early you learn the alphabet, start reading, or learn the capitals of every state.

The 2024 Kia Telluride midsize SUV is available in 10 trim levels, all sporting the same V6 engine. (Photo provided by Kia)
2024 Kia Telluride makes every drive a pleasure

The midsize SUV has more going for it than many others in its class.

Carrying the Newcomb College name, this rare sewing bag fetched a bundle

Who made this linen and silk bag featuring a Louisiana landscape is unknown. The quality of its craftmanship, however, is clear.

Market for sale plants. Many plants in pots
Snohomish Garden Club plans annual plant sale

The event is scheduled for April 27 at Swan’s Trail Farms. Proceeds will go to scholarships.

Bleeding heart
These colorful spring perennials are awakening from their winter slumber

From bleeding hearts and lungwort to candytuft and carnations, a rebirth of bright flowers and striking foliage has begun.

Snohomish County PUD’s Energy Block Party has something for everyone

By Snohomish County PUD Have you ever thought about putting solar panels… Continue reading

Support local journalism

If you value local news, make a gift now to support the trusted journalism you get in The Daily Herald. Donations processed in this system are not tax deductible.