The Herald of Everett, Washington
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Herald staff | jbauer@heraldnet.com
Published: Thursday, January 24, 2013, 12:01 a.m.

Too piggish to fail

Survey says: A poll by Bloomberg News showed that about 60 percent of those responding lacked confidence that the world's largest banks were following laws and taking prudent risks with people's money after having accepted $600 billion in bailouts. About 29 percent wanted the banks broken up, while 23 percent wanted a change to executives' compensation.

But a full 55 percent wanted to see bank officials forced to live in filth and squalor.

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Part of this complete breakfast: Researchers studying the dwellings of the those who lived in the area of Utah's Canyonlands National Park 1,200 years ago, say traces of chocolate in bowls excavated at the site prove there was trade with civilizations in what is now Central and South America.

But the absence of traces of marshmallow has led researchers to conclude that Mesoamericans had not yet developed the technology for a "magically delicious" cereal with pink hearts, yellow stars, orange moons and green clovers.

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Hey, ho and up she rises: The U.S. Navy says it will now conduct random blood-alcohol tests of sailors to address concerns about alcohol abuse in the service.

So, earl-aye in the morning, what you do with a drunken sailor is refer him to an alcohol program adviser.

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