I’ll see your job offer and raise you a 401(k) plan

Where are the jobs for Solitaire players? Caesars Entertainment in Las Vegas uses a fitting method for judging who among MBA grads might make good executives: a Texas Hold’em poker tournament. “Poker players are analytical and are willing to take strategic risk, and that is what we’re looking for,” said a Caesars human resources manager.

So when your college student tells you that she’s working on her analytical and strategic skills this weekend, remind her that after seeing the flop she shouldn’t hesitate to cut her losses if she has a bad hand.

Just water for me, thanks: PepsiCo, the maker of Gatorade, announced that it will remove brominated vegetable oil from the sports drink. The “flavor emulsifier” is banned in Japan and Europe except — and we are not making this up — as a flame retardant. Instead, another emulsifier will be used — and again we are not making this up — called sucrose acetate isobutyrate.

“I don’t know what it is, but it sounds good to me,” said Lance Armstrong as he quickly phoned Pepsi-Co about an endorsement deal.

You wouldn’t hit a secretary with glasses with a subpoena, would you? Aides to Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton say her recent switch from contacts to thick-framed glasses is related to health issues from her recent concussion. An aide said Clinton can see fine and has enjoyed recent articles about what each adjustment of her glasses means.

We’re pretty sure we understand the message she’s communicating in using one particular finger to push up her specs when addressing Republican members of Congress.

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More in Opinion

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Editorial cartoons for Thursday, March 28

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Initiative promoter Tim Eyman takes a selfie photo before the start of a session of Thurston County Superior Court, Wednesday, Feb. 10, 2021, in Olympia, Wash. Eyman, who ran initiative campaigns across Washington for decades, will no longer be allowed to have any financial control over political committees, under a ruling from Superior Court Judge James Dixon Wednesday that blasted Eyman for using donor's contributions to line his own pocket. Eyman was also told to pay more than $2.5 million in penalties. (AP Photo/Ted S. Warren)
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Bumped up to $156 from $5, the increase may discourage attempts to game the initiative process.

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Comment: Why shootings have decreased but gun deaths haven’t

High-capacity magazines and ‘Glock switches’ that allow automatic fire have increased lethality.

Washington state senators and representatives along with Governor Inslee and FTA Administrator Nuria Fernandez break ground at the Swift Orange Line on Tuesday, April 19, 2022 in Lynnwood, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
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FILE - The massive mudslide that killed 43 people in the community of Oso, Wash., is viewed from the air on March 24, 2014. (AP Photo/Ted S. Warren, File)
Editorial: Mapping landslide risks honors those lost in Oso

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Editorial cartoons for Wednesday, March 27

A sketchy look at the news of the day.… Continue reading

Burke: ‘Why not write about Biden, for once?’ Don’t mind if I do.

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Comment: Catherine missed chance to dispel shame of cancer

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