Overheard on the police beat

"This other guy, is he pretty unshaven?"

"Last time he was arrested, actually like two times ago, he had a sandwich baggy of meth on him."

Cops responding to a call about two horses lying down in a field:
"Something may be going on, but odds are good that they're just lazy."

"He says he does have an address. He just can't remember that address."

"It was all empty wine bottles. Nothing's there that appears to have relevance to the crime."

Cops working speed patrols:
"There was a pizza delivery car that just passed me. He was upward of 20-plus."

"It might have been (the firefighters) that got the first call of her running semi-naked down Broadway."

"(Caller) says his grandsons are fighting and hitting each other. They are both 12 years old."

"I got her name if it was that gal hanging out by the dumpster before."

"He was hiding from staff in the bushes. He's now back in his wheelchair, headed northbound."

First cop: "Suspect had a backpack. There may be a ferret in the backpack."
Second cop: "We do have a ferret."