The Herald of Everett, Washington
HeraldNet on Facebook HeraldNet on Twitter HeraldNet RSS feeds HeraldNet Pinterest HeraldNet Google Plus HeraldNet Youtube
HeraldNet Newsletters  Newsletters: Sign up | Manage  Green editions icon Green editions
Herald staff | jbauer@heraldnet.com
Published: Saturday, May 25, 2013, 12:01 a.m.

Bridging the gap between lawmakers and cockroaches

A bridge not far enough: State and federal officials are considering a temporary fix to span the Skagit River at Mount Vernon after Thursday's collapse of I-5's four-lane bridge. Built in 1955, the bridge was classified by the state as "functionally obsolete."

Our Bureaucratese-to-English Dictionary defines "functionally obsolete" as "can be taken out by a truck with an oversize load."

--

What about the gap between their ears? State lawmakers who have their portraits taken every two years for use online and in publications have been requesting a little Photoshop retouching to mask wrinkles, erase blemishes and even close a gap between teeth.

Recognizing the looming cost of replacing the I-5 bridge over the Skagit River, legislators -- rather than paying the estimated $15 million to replace it -- proposed touching up a photo of it to close the gap between Mount Vernon and Burlington.

--

Vacancy at the Roach Motel: Research has discovered that the lowly cockroach has evolved in a matter of decades to consider the glucose-sweetened bait in traps as bitter. Sweetened traps are no longer luring roaches to their deaths as they had 20 years ago.

Checking the Cockroach-to-English Dictionary, "human intellect" is now defined as "functionally obsolete."

--


Sign up for HeraldNet headlines Newsletter
See sample | Privacy policy

Most recent The Buzz posts

  • In therapy  Oct. 22
  • Better pull over  Oct. 21
  • Vox unpopuli  Oct. 20
  • Buy a vowel  Oct. 18
  • Comcastoff  Oct. 16

Share your comments: Log in using your HeraldNet account or your Facebook, Twitter or Disqus profile. Comments that violate the rules are subject to removal. Please see our terms of use. Please note that you must verify your email address for your comments to appear.

You are logged in using your HeraldNet ID. Click here to update your profile. | Log out.

Our new comment system is not supported in IE 7. Please upgrade your browser here.

comments powered by Disqus
digital subscription promo

Subscribe now

Unlimited digital access starting at 99 cents, or included with any print subscription.

» More local news


HeraldNet highlights

Who are these people?
Who are these people?: Before you vote, get to know the candidates
Waiting for a home
Waiting for a home: Animals up for adoption at NOAH (updated photo gallery)
Herald endorsements
Herald endorsements: Opinions on election races from the Herald Editorial Board
By land or by water
By land or by water: Packrafts open up entire landscapes to explorers
SnoCoSocial