Slide victim’s wife remembers the love of her life

OSO — Debbie Durnell was terrified to step out onto a dance floor in Everett.

The style was country swing, the Texas two step. “I’d never seen dancing like that before,” she said.

During the first song, she said she mostly just looked down, watching and trying to match the steps of her dance partner, Tom Durnell.

Later, he invited her to dance again. “Don’t look at my feet,” he told her. “Look at my eyes.”

As the music played and she followed his advice, she had a nearly inexplicable reaction. “I knew by that second dance … I had finally met the love of my life.”

Before the evening was over, she left her name and phone number for the bartender to give to him. She laughed as she recently told the story, reflecting on her spur-of-the-moment decision. “I never did anything like that in my life,” she said.

Once they met again, they quickly became a couple and never again spent a weekend apart over the next eight years.

They married in 2010, just after Tom retired from his work as a carpenter, and soon bought a home on Steelhead Drive.

“We were both so excited to buy a house,” she said. “That was the first home we ever bought.”

The house came with a three-car garage, but that use was short-lived. It soon turned into her husband’s woodworking shop.

“His work was perfect,” she said. “You never found a flaw in anything he made.”

Durnell, 65, had nearly finished library shelves for their home, hand-milled from cherry wood, when the March 22 Oso mudslide took his life. “It was the first time he got to do something like that in his own home,” she said.

Her husband was a man of diverse interests. His love of opera could find him listening to that music, such as Verdi’s “La Traviata,” for hours.

His collection of more than 10,000 recorded songs spanned the genres of rock, jazz, opera and country — most especially classic country tunes such as those of Bob Wells and the Texas Playboys.

“He was always learning more about music; he loved learning the history of music,” his wife said.

He made annual trips to Eastern Oregon for more than two decades to take in the Pendleton Roundup. “He loved watching rodeo as much as most guys love watching football,” she said. “He knew all the top-ranked cowboys.”

He didn’t do particularly well in school because of problems with attention disorder, hyperactivity and even a streak of mischievousness.

Instead, he became an autodidact, using his intense interest in reading to educate himself.

“He was really smart,” his wife said. “That was my first attraction to him. He had such a huge vocabulary. I never had to look anything up in the dictionary.”

Tom Durnell grew up in Eugene, Ore., and attended Lane Community College, where he studied theater design. He left college for his “dream job” in Ashland at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival in the 1970s. His various roles included work as assistant stage manager and a tumbling assistant for the production of “The Taming of the Shrew.” He began his carpentry career there building sets.

“That was one of the proudest moments of his career,” Debbie Durnell said. “He loved the arts, not only theater.”

This year, he had purchased tickets for the festival — the first time they were to attend together.

Later in his career, Tom Durnell worked for theaters in Minneapolis and Seattle, as well as the scene shop at KCTS-TV, Seattle’s public station.

His work as a carpenter spanned nearly 20 years. Durnell was a master who took joy in making handmade wooden bowls, jewelry boxes and other woodwork for family and friends, his wife said.

While traveling through eastern Snohomish County three decades ago, he decided it was the place to retire.

The day of the mudslide, Debbie Durnell, 50, a certified nursing assistant at Providence Regional Medical Center Everett, was at work. She lost not only her husband but her home, virtually all her belongings and several friends.

Last month, she filed claims against Snohomish County and the state of Washington. The claims seek a total of $3.5 million from the county and state, the first of five damage claims against area governments in the mudslide’s aftermath.

The landslide was so powerful that it carried debris across the valley and part way up the other side, roughly a mile away.

Amid all the dirt and debris were two photos from the Durnells’ home, which were found miraculously undamaged. They show him riding a horse at a friend’s house in Idaho.

“It’s precious to me, the only pictures I’ve gotten back,” his wife said.

“They found them like it was just taken out of a drawer. They weren’t even wet.”

One of the most endearing memories of their relationship was how easy their conversations where.

“We loved each other deeply and were each other’s best friends,” she said. “We knew that we had a love that would last forever, and for me it will.

“I have absolutely no regrets, other than we didn’t get enough time together. We had so many plans, things we wanted to do. It just wasn’t long enough.”

Sharon Salyer: 425-339-3486; salyer@heraldnet.com.

Talk to us

> Give us your news tips.

> Send us a letter to the editor.

> More Herald contact information.

More in Local News

Alan Edward Dean, convicted of the 1993 murder of Melissa Lee, professes his innocence in the courtroom during his sentencing Wednesday, April 24, 2024, at Snohomish County Superior Court in Everett, Washington. (Ryan Berry / The Herald)
Bothell man gets 26 years in cold case murder of Melissa Lee, 15

“I’m innocent, not guilty. … They planted that DNA. I’ve been framed,” said Alan Edward Dean, as he was sentenced for the 1993 murder.

Bothell
Man gets 75 years for terrorizing exes in Bothell, Mukilteo

In 2021, Joseph Sims broke into his ex-girlfriend’s home in Bothell and assaulted her. He went on a crime spree from there.

A Tesla electric vehicle is seen at a Tesla electric vehicle charging station at Willow Festival shopping plaza parking lot in Northbrook, Ill., Saturday, Dec. 3, 2022. A Tesla driver who had set his car on Autopilot was “distracted” by his phone before reportedly hitting and killing a motorcyclist Friday on Highway 522, according to a new police report. (AP Photo/Nam Y. Huh)
Tesla driver on Autopilot caused fatal Highway 522 crash, police say

The driver was reportedly on his phone with his Tesla on Autopilot on Friday when he crashed into Jeffrey Nissen, killing him.

The Seattle courthouse of the U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals. (Zachariah Bryan / The Herald) 20190204
Mukilteo bookkeeper sentenced to federal prison for fraud scheme

Jodi Hamrick helped carry out a scheme to steal funds from her employer to pay for vacations, Nordstrom bills and more.

A passenger pays their fare before getting in line for the ferry on Thursday, Sept. 28, 2023 in Mukilteo, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
$55? That’s what a couple will pay on the Edmonds-Kingston ferry

The peak surcharge rates start May 1. Wait times also increase as the busy summer travel season kicks into gear.

In this Jan. 4, 2019 photo, workers and other officials gather outside the Sky Valley Education Center school in Monroe, Wash., before going inside to collect samples for testing. The samples were tested for PCBs, or polychlorinated biphenyls, as well as dioxins and furans. A lawsuit filed on behalf of several families and teachers claims that officials failed to adequately respond to PCBs, or polychlorinated biphenyls, in the school. (AP Photo/Ted S. Warren)
Judge halves $784M for women exposed to Monsanto chemicals at Monroe school

Monsanto lawyers argued “arbitrary and excessive” damages in the Sky Valley Education Center case “cannot withstand constitutional scrutiny.”

Mukilteo Police Chief Andy Illyn and the graphic he created. He is currently attending the 10-week FBI National Academy in Quantico, Virginia. (Photo provided by Andy Illyn)
Help wanted: Unicorns for ‘pure magic’ career with Mukilteo police

“There’s a whole population who would be amazing police officers” but never considered it, the police chief said.

President of Pilchuck Audubon Brian Zinke, left, Interim Executive Director of Audubon Washington Dr.Trina Bayard,  center, and Rep. Rick Larsen look up at a bird while walking in the Narcbeck Wetland Sanctuary on Wednesday, April 24, 2024 in Everett, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Larsen’s new migratory birds law means $6.5M per year in avian aid

North American birds have declined by the billions. This week, local birders saw new funding as a “a turning point for birds.”

FILE - In this May 26, 2020, file photo, a grizzly bear roams an exhibit at the Woodland Park Zoo, closed for nearly three months because of the coronavirus outbreak in Seattle. Grizzly bears once roamed the rugged landscape of the North Cascades in Washington state but few have been sighted in recent decades. The federal government is scrapping plans to reintroduce grizzly bears to the North Cascades ecosystem. (AP Photo/Elaine Thompson, File)
Grizzlies to return to North Cascades, feds confirm in controversial plan

Under a final plan announced Thursday, officials will release three to seven bears per year. They anticipate 200 in a century.s

Everett
Police: 1 injured in south Everett shooting

Police responded to reports of shots fired in the 9800 block of 18th Avenue W. It was unclear if officers booked a suspect into custody.

Patrick Lester Clay (Photo provided by the Department of Corrections)
Police searching for Monroe prison escapee

Officials suspect Patrick Lester Clay, 59, broke into an employee’s office, stole their car keys and drove off.

People hang up hearts with messages about saving the Clark Park gazebo during a “heart bomb” event hosted by Historic Everett on Saturday, Feb. 17, 2024 in Everett, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Clark Park gazebo removal complicated by Everett historical group

Over a City Hall push, the city’s historical commission wants to find ways to keep the gazebo in place, alongside a proposed dog park.

Support local journalism

If you value local news, make a gift now to support the trusted journalism you get in The Daily Herald. Donations processed in this system are not tax deductible.