Advice for parents of constantly connected teenagers

  • By Andrea Brown Herald Writer
  • Monday, July 28, 2014 4:35pm
  • Life

Selfies. Tweeting. Texting. Sexting.

OMG!

Smartphones and social media make the teen years even more exciting — and treacherous.

There are benefits to having high-tech tools for the curiosity, challenges, angst and all that other stuff that happens between childhood and adulthood. But there are also pitfalls to social media, including cyberbullying, overuse and other destructive behavior.

An upcoming workshop can help people of all ages use these tools smarter. Hosted by SMAHRT, or Social Media and Adolescent Health Research Team, at Seattle Children’s Research Institute, the three-day conference this week is for teens, parents, educators, health care providers, legal workers. Everyone.

It’s a way to connect with others the old-fashioned way: in person. The goal is to help minimize risks and maximize benefits of many aspects of social media. Topics range from cyberbullying to apps on birth control. There will also be panel discussions on using Fitbit activity trackers and iPad health screenings. The second day finishes up with an open discussion deemed, appropriately, “Appy Hour.”

Parents have been trying to keep their kids safe from new technology for centuries. They dealt with the invention of the wheel, the record player, the telephone, TV.

“Technology is like a hammer,” said SMAHRT leader Dr. Megan Moreno. “You can use it to build a house and you can also get really seriously injured.”

Moreno is the author of “Sex, Drugs ‘n Facebook: A Parent’s Toolkit for Promoting Healthy Internet Use.” She said the line between offline and online is often not blurred enough.

“A lot of people behave online in ways they wouldn’t offline,” Moreno said. “They should act the same way. Everything is online now. We should treat them with the same level of respect and attention.”

Cyberbullying can have a worse impact than face-to-face bullying, she said. Teens often don’t grasp that messages and photos posted online are there forever — as in beyond high school — and for the world to see.

As Moreno put it: “Once it gets out there it’s like trying to gather feathers scattered in the wind.”

Sleep is another topic that will be covered. Media use can trump sleep, whether it’s to watch favorite shows or see what their peers might post about them.

“We hear in clinic about them sleeping with phones under their pillow so they don’t miss out on anyone saying anything good or bad about them,” Moreno said.

So what’s a parent to do, especially when kids are more tech savvy?

“Parents are still experts about parenting,” Moreno said. “Just because your kid knows about Tumblr and you don’t doesn’t mean you can’t make a rule about it.”

Andrea Brown: 425-339-3443; abrown@heraldnet.com. Twitter: @reporterbrown.

2014 SMAHRT Conference

When: July 31-August 2

Where: Seattle Children’s Research Institute, 2001 8th Ave., Seattle.

Cost: $10 a day, includes breakfast and lunch.

Topics (the second and third days are geared for parents and teens): Day 1—Research, Content analysis, Regulatory policy; Day 2—Health, Depression, Substance use, Cyberbullying, Problematic Internet use, Improving fitness using social media; Day 3—The future role of social media in health and research, Patients and parents from Seattle Children’s Hospital discuss their experiences and ideas for shaping the future of social media in health.

For more information, go to http://smahrtresearch.com/conference/registration/ or Twitter: @SeattleChildren.

Tips on kids and social media

Follow the law

Most social media sites are allowed only for those at least 13. Don’t help your child falsify their identity. I can’t think of a situation in which this would help.

Evaluate sites

Join each site along with them, use the tools, fiddle with the privacy, and stay connected as long as your teen does. That way you can speak their “language” and keep up to date about changes and concerns you may have and changes or challenges your child may have.

Make rules and curfews

Consider a 9 p.m. bedtime for all digital devices so they don’t interfere with sleep and you can re-connect in real life at the end of the day. Commit to turning off phones during meals, and stashing them in the back seat when driving.

Check in

Does your child seem energized and excited when on Facebook? Or do they seem more withdrawn? Are they concerned about their numbers (followers)? Is it hard for your child to stay off these sites? Check in, adapt to your child’s experience and design your rules to support your family’s experiences and challenges.

Model good behavior

Turn your phone off during dinner. Put your phone “to bed” before you go to sleep. Take holidays from your devices whenever you can.

Don’t focus on punishment

Instead focus on talking about good citizenship, healthy behaviors, and rules that need to adapt or be altered as time unfolds and challenges present themselves.

Remember to live offline

However ridiculous that sounds, get outside every single day, leave the phone at home whenever possible, and remember to encourage your children to spend time in person “IRL” (in real life) with those they love.

Source: Blog by Dr. Wendy Sue Swanson, Seattle Mama Doc. For more: seattlemamadoc.seattlechildrens.org

Talk to us

> Give us your news tips.

> Send us a letter to the editor.

> More Herald contact information.

More in Life

Brandon Hailey of Cytrus, center, plays the saxophone during a headlining show at Madam Lou’s on Friday, Dec. 29, 2023 in Seattle, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Lynnwood-based funk octet Cytrus has the juice

Resilience and brotherhood take center stage with ‘friends-first’ band.

FILE - In this April 11, 2014 file photo, Neko Case performs at the Coachella Music and Arts Festival in Indio, Calif. Fire investigators are looking for the cause of a fire on Monday, Sept. 18, 2017, that heavily damaged Case’s 225-year-old Vermont home. There were no injuries, though a barn was destroyed. It took firefighters two hours to extinguish the blaze. (Photo by Scott Roth/Invision/AP, File)
Music, theater and more: What’s happening in Snohomish County

Singer-songwriter Neko Case, an indie music icon from Tacoma, performs Sunday in Edmonds.

Dominic Arizona Bonuccelli
Tangier’s market boasts piles of fruits, veggies, and olives, countless varieties of bread, and nonperishables, like clothing and electronics.
Rick Steves on the cultural kaleidoscope of Tangier in Morocco

Walking through the city, I think to myself, “How could anyone be in southern Spain — so close — and not hop over to experience this wonderland?”

chris elliott.
Vrbo promised to cover her rental bill in Hawaii, so why won’t it?

When Cheryl Mander’s Vrbo rental in Hawaii is uninhabitable, the rental platform agrees to cover her new accommodations. But then it backs out. What happened?

The Moonlight Swing Orchestra will play classic sounds of the Big Band Era on April 21 in Everett. (submitted photo)
Music, theater and more: What’s happening in Snohomish County

Relive the Big Band Era at the Port Gardner Music Society’s final concert of the season in Everett.

2024 Honda Ridgeline TrailSport AWD (Honda)
2024 Honda Ridgeline TrailSport AWD

Honda cedes big boy pickup trucks to the likes of Ford, Dodge… Continue reading

Would you want to give something as elaborate as this a name as mundane as “bread box”? A French Provincial piece practically demands the French name panetiere.
A panetiere isn’t your modern bread box. It’s a treasure of French culture

This elaborately carved French antique may be old, but it’s still capable of keeping its leavened contents perfectly fresh.

(Judy Newton / Great Plant Picks)
Great Plant Pick: Mouse plant

What: Arisarum proboscideum, also known as mouse plant, is an herbaceous woodland… Continue reading

Bright green Japanese maple leaves are illuminated by spring sunlight. (Getty Images)
Confessions of a ‘plantophile’: I’m a bit of a junky for Japanese maples

In fact, my addiction to these glorious, all-season specimens seems to be contagious. Fortunately, there’s no known cure.

2024 Hyundai IONIQ 6 Limited (Hyundai)
2024 Hyundai IONIQ 6 Limited

The 2024 Hyundai IONIQ 6 Limited is a sporty, all-electric, all-wheel drive sedan that will quickly win your heart.

The 2024 Dodge Hornet R/T hybrid’s face has the twin red lines signifying the brand’s focus on performance. (Dodge)
2024 Hornet R/T is first electrified performance vehicle from Dodge

The all-new compact SUV travels 32 miles on pure electric power, and up to 360 miles in hybrid mode.

Don’t blow a bundle on glass supposedly made by the Henry William Stiegel

Why? Faked signatures, reused molds and imitated styles can make it unclear who actually made any given piece of glass.

Support local journalism

If you value local news, make a gift now to support the trusted journalism you get in The Daily Herald. Donations processed in this system are not tax deductible.