‘Scuse me, I burped

Presenting Ms. Springfield, Barney Gumble: Supermodel and business mogul Kathy Ireland showed off a peculiar talent at a Miss America pageant preliminary event earlier this week — the ability to belch on command.

Pageant officials weren’t so impressed, saying Ireland would never pass muster in the talent competition — unless, of course, she were able to perform “Memories (Theme From ‘Cats’)” entirely in burps.

As seen on TV: Even with their manufactured conflict and contrived story lines, business-themed reality shows like “Shark Tank” contain some useful lessons for small business owners, columnist Pat Sisneros writes.

For example, the various shows starring Donald Trump can help business people pick up some tips for dealing with monstrously narcissistic creeps.

Don’t know much about history: On this day in 1776, British forces marched into New York City during the Revolutionary War.

The next invasion of the Big Apple wouldn’t take place until the 1990s, when hipsters began their conquest of Brooklyn.

— Mark Carlson, Herald staff

Talk to us

> Give us your news tips.

> Send us a letter to the editor.

> More Herald contact information.

More in Opinion

toon
Editorial cartoons for Friday, April 26

A sketchy look at the news of the day.… Continue reading

Solar panels are visible along the rooftop of the Crisp family home on Monday, Nov. 14, 2022 in Everett, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Editorial: Federal, state program will put more roofs to work

More families can install rooftop solar panels thanks to the state and federal Solar for All program.

Schwab: From Kremlin to courtroom, an odor of authoritarianism

Something smells of desperation among Putin, anti-Ukraine-aid Republicans and Trump’s complaints.

Providence hospitals’ problems show need for change

I was very fortunate to start my medical career in Everett in… Continue reading

Columnist should say how Biden would be better than Trump

I am a fairly new subscriber and enjoy getting local news. I… Continue reading

History defies easy solutions in Ukraine, Mideast

An recent letter writer wants the U.S. to stop supplying arms to… Continue reading

Comment: We can build consensus around words that matter to all

A survey finds Americans are mostly in agreement about the ‘civic terms’ they view as important to democracy.

Comment: Raising stamp prices won’t solve USPS financial woes

The consistent increases in prices is driving customers away. There are better options for the service.

Patricia Robles from Cazares Farms hands a bag to a patron at the Everett Farmers Market across from the Everett Station in Everett, Washington on Wednesday, June 14, 2023. (Annie Barker / The Herald)
Editorial: EBT program a boon for kids’ nutrition this summer

SUN Bucks will make sure kids eat better when they’re not in school for a free or reduced-price meal.

toon
Editorial: A policy wonk’s fight for a climate we can live with

An Earth Day conversation with Paul Roberts on climate change, hope and commitment.

Snow dusts the treeline near Heather Lake Trailhead in the area of a disputed logging project on Tuesday, April 11, 2023, outside Verlot, Washington. (Ryan Berry / The Herald)
Editorial: Move ahead with state forests’ carbon credit sales

A judge clears a state program to set aside forestland and sell carbon credits for climate efforts.

toon
Editorial cartoons for Thursday, April 25

A sketchy look at the news of the day.… Continue reading

Support local journalism

If you value local news, make a gift now to support the trusted journalism you get in The Daily Herald. Donations processed in this system are not tax deductible.