Black Friday rules for retired Herald columnist

It’s been almost three years since Kristi O’Harran retired from The Herald, leaving readers without her hilarious takes on the finer things in life — Cheez Whiz, reality TV, and her personal road map for Black Friday shopping.

For me, the fun of reading and laughing through many of her columns was that I just didn’t get any of it.

I have never tasted Cheez Whiz. Unlike Kristi, I never sat down to catch an episode of “Bridalplasty” on E! I have never ordered a Today’s Special Value from the QVC shopping network, or spent a week in Vegas.

And honest to goodness, I have never set an alarm to shop in the wee hours after Thanksgiving dinner.

As much as we adored working together, Kristi and I weren’t exactly in harmony on these kinds of cultural topics. Still, we have much more in common than not. I miss our workday chats, mostly about kids and grandkids.

One thing hasn’t changed since she retired in December 2011: Kristi remains the reigning queen of Black Friday.

A few days before Thanksgiving, I called her at home in Mill Creek to catch up on her retail action plan.

“I don’t have my ads yet,” she said. “My main thing is getting those ads on Thursday morning — that’s your bible. You have to spend a lot of time picking your stores, what products you want, and what times.”

Figuring out her strategy rivals sitting down to a turkey dinner. No one is more devoted to family than Kristi, who said earlier this week she planned to celebrate Thanksgiving in Seattle with her son, Brody. In the years she hosts Thanksgiving, she prepares a minimalist meal, saving time and energy for the shopping expedition to come.

“When I do cook, it’s turkey and spuds and buns — and then out the door. Maybe some frozen corn. Those are the main things you want for leftovers,” she said.

It’s an O’Harran tradition to race first to a JCPenney store, where for years Disney snow globes have been handed out as Black Friday freebies. Her Penney’s snow globe collection dates back to 2001. “The early ones are going for 40 bucks on eBay,” she said. “There’s a stack at each door. It’s kind of sad, most people don’t even go in the stores. They run in, grab and go.”

Shoppers will find out whether snow globe supplies last until Black Friday morning, since JCPenney stores were among those open Thanksgiving afternoon.

Kristi isn’t opposed to Thanksgiving Day shopping, but that was iffy this year. Many stores opening on the holiday had hours coinciding with Thursday’s Seahawks-49ers game in San Francisco. In the O’Harran household, Seahawks trump sales.

“I’m not saying I won’t shop on Thanksgiving — after the Hawks game,” she said earlier this week.

More likely, she planned to head out around 2 a.m. “to do the big hoo-hoo on Friday morning.” In the past she was accompanied by her husband, Chuck. This year it will be her daughter, Kati, and 10-year-old granddaughter, Kelbi. “It’s a girl thing,” she said.

“Kati and I try to pick one store. You wait two hours outside to get in. Last year, I got in the checkout line. We take turns, shopping and holding space in line,” she said.

She plans to drive right past a big box store near her home after being squashed there several years ago. “The crowd lifted me off my feet, and I was pushed along. It was truly scary,” she said. Even while crowd surfing, she managed to reach out and grab two Barbies.

“Honestly, I’m only shopping for my granddaughters,” she said. “It’s the thrill of the chase. It might be a muffler with matching gloves, not a big-ticket item. Everybody’s scooting around at 2 in the morning, everybody’s happy. People will have gravy on their shirts. It’s kind of a hoot.”

Her last stop is Fred Meyer, where in years past she has filled her cart with half-off socks and board games. “You’re hungry by then, and they have free donut holes,” she said. “Freddy’s always has board games, buy one get one free. Everybody knows this.”

Not everybody. Some of us are snooze-you-losers. That’s my Black Friday plan. By the time you read this, my friend will likely have finished her Christmas shopping. I will not have started mine.

“The day after Christmas, I do it all again,” Kristi said.

Julie Muhlstein: 425-339-3460; jmuhlstein@heraldnet.com

Talk to us

> Give us your news tips.

> Send us a letter to the editor.

> More Herald contact information.

More in Local News

Alan Edward Dean, convicted of the 1993 murder of Melissa Lee, professes his innocence in the courtroom during his sentencing Wednesday, April 24, 2024, at Snohomish County Superior Court in Everett, Washington. (Ryan Berry / The Herald)
Bothell man gets 26 years in cold case murder of Melissa Lee, 15

“I’m innocent, not guilty. … They planted that DNA. I’ve been framed,” said Alan Edward Dean, as he was sentenced for the 1993 murder.

Bothell
Man gets 75 years for terrorizing exes in Bothell, Mukilteo

In 2021, Joseph Sims broke into his ex-girlfriend’s home in Bothell and assaulted her. He went on a crime spree from there.

A Tesla electric vehicle is seen at a Tesla electric vehicle charging station at Willow Festival shopping plaza parking lot in Northbrook, Ill., Saturday, Dec. 3, 2022. A Tesla driver who had set his car on Autopilot was “distracted” by his phone before reportedly hitting and killing a motorcyclist Friday on Highway 522, according to a new police report. (AP Photo/Nam Y. Huh)
Tesla driver on Autopilot caused fatal Highway 522 crash, police say

The driver was reportedly on his phone with his Tesla on Autopilot on Friday when he crashed into Jeffrey Nissen, killing him.

In this Jan. 4, 2019 photo, workers and other officials gather outside the Sky Valley Education Center school in Monroe, Wash., before going inside to collect samples for testing. The samples were tested for PCBs, or polychlorinated biphenyls, as well as dioxins and furans. A lawsuit filed on behalf of several families and teachers claims that officials failed to adequately respond to PCBs, or polychlorinated biphenyls, in the school. (AP Photo/Ted S. Warren)
Judge halves $784M for women exposed to Monsanto chemicals at Monroe school

Monsanto lawyers argued “arbitrary and excessive” damages in the Sky Valley Education Center case “cannot withstand constitutional scrutiny.”

Mukilteo Police Chief Andy Illyn and the graphic he created. He is currently attending the 10-week FBI National Academy in Quantico, Virginia. (Photo provided by Andy Illyn)
Help wanted: Unicorns for ‘pure magic’ career with Mukilteo police

“There’s a whole population who would be amazing police officers” but never considered it, the police chief said.

President of Pilchuck Audubon Brian Zinke, left, Interim Executive Director of Audubon Washington Dr.Trina Bayard,  center, and Rep. Rick Larsen look up at a bird while walking in the Narcbeck Wetland Sanctuary on Wednesday, April 24, 2024 in Everett, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Larsen’s new migratory birds law means $6.5M per year in avian aid

North American birds have declined by the billions. This week, local birders saw new funding as a “a turning point for birds.”

FILE - In this May 26, 2020, file photo, a grizzly bear roams an exhibit at the Woodland Park Zoo, closed for nearly three months because of the coronavirus outbreak in Seattle. Grizzly bears once roamed the rugged landscape of the North Cascades in Washington state but few have been sighted in recent decades. The federal government is scrapping plans to reintroduce grizzly bears to the North Cascades ecosystem. (AP Photo/Elaine Thompson, File)
Grizzlies to return to North Cascades, feds confirm in controversial plan

Under a final plan announced Thursday, officials will release three to seven bears per year. They anticipate 200 in a century.s

Everett
Police: 1 injured in south Everett shooting

Everett police had provided few details about the gunfire as of Friday morning.

Patrick Lester Clay (Photo provided by the Department of Corrections)
Police searching for Monroe prison escapee

Officials suspect Patrick Lester Clay, 59, broke into an employee’s office, stole their car keys and drove off.

People hang up hearts with messages about saving the Clark Park gazebo during a “heart bomb” event hosted by Historic Everett on Saturday, Feb. 17, 2024 in Everett, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Clark Park gazebo removal complicated by Everett historical group

Over a City Hall push, the city’s historical commission wants to find ways to keep the gazebo in place, alongside a proposed dog park.

A person turns in their ballot at a ballot box located near the Edmonds Library in Edmonds, Washington on Sunday, Nov. 5, 2023. (Annie Barker / The Herald)
Deadline fast approaching for Everett property tax measure

Everett leaders are working to the last minute to nail down a new levy. Next week, the City Council will have to make a final decision.

Hawthorne Elementary students Kayden Smith, left, John Handall and Jace Debolt use their golden shovels to help plant a tree at Wiggums Hollow Park  in celebration of Washington’s Arbor Day on Wednesday, April 13, 2022 in Everett. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Snohomish County to hold post-Earth Day recycling event in Monroe

Locals can bring hard-to-recycle items to Evergreen State Fair Park. Accepted items include Styrofoam, electronics and tires.

Support local journalism

If you value local news, make a gift now to support the trusted journalism you get in The Daily Herald. Donations processed in this system are not tax deductible.