Buy! Buy! Buy!

Playing the market: Software that allows retailers to quickly change the price of items depending on demand is upsetting shoppers. A sweater on Amazon.com, for example, swung between $110 and $139 in six hours.

It’s OK. We just told our broker not to buy the “Frozen” DVD until it hits $9.99.

“It’s because we’re flat, isn’t it?” Nebraska and Oklahoma want the U.S. Supreme Court to declare Colorado’s legalization of marijuana unconstitutional because the drug is being brought into their states.

Colorado, responding to the charge, said that both states are just upset they didn’t get an invite to its big holiday keg party. Washington state, in a bro-of-the-court brief, agreed that the two states were “harshing the mellow” and should “just chill out, dudes.”

Don’t know much about history: On this day in 1843, “A Christmas Carol” by Charles Dickens was first published in England.

Since its entry into the public domain, Dickens’ novel has assured the survival of painfully bad English accents in community theaters across the U.S. God bless us, everyone.

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More in Opinion

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Editorial cartoons for Thursday, May 9

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