The art of the celebrity nonapology

  • By Emily Yahr The Washington Post
  • Friday, January 2, 2015 4:09pm
  • Life

These days, it’s standard procedure when a celebrity lands a big profile in a magazine: The star says something that may be controversial. The quote is excerpted, analyzed and causes outrage. Then the celebrity apologizes. Or in most cases, “apologizes.”

That’s exactly what happened to Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting, who has a big movie (“The Wedding Ringer”) opening this month and is the star of CBS’ hugely popular “The Big Bang Theory.” She sat for a cover story for Redbook magazine and gave some quotes about feminism that got some backlash. The result: She followed it up with, truly, one of the most incredible nonapologies we have ever seen, proving that celebrity apologies are a fine art.

During the interview, the mag asked if she considers herself a feminist. Cuoco answered “Is it bad if I say no?” and continued: “Things are different now, and I know a lot of the work that paved the way for women happened before I was around … I was never that feminist girl demanding equality, but maybe that’s because I’ve never really faced inequality.” And: “I cook for (my husband) Ryan five nights a week: It makes me feel like a housewife; I love that. I know it sounds old-fashioned, but I like the idea of women taking care of their men.”

Naturally, her thoughts on feminism drew some harsh criticism and were picked up by tons of outlets. In response, in a predictable follow-up on New Year’s Day, Cuoco offered this statement on Instagram.

“In my Redbook article, some people have taken offense to my comments regarding feminism — if any of you are In the ‘biz’ you are well aware of how words can be taken out of context. I’m completely blessed and grateful that strong women have paved the way for my success along with many others. I apologize if anyone was offended. Anyone that truly knows me, knows my heart and knows what I meant.”

Again, it so deeply hits the nonapology trifecta that we must dissect it further. Breaking this down:

1. “Taken out of context.”

This is a classic celebrity move, blaming the media outlet — those media outlets help fuel celebrity careers, of course — for not properly contextualizing her thoughts. Cuoco digs deeper with this point, adding that those in showbiz know what that’s like; presumably, something us mere mortals can’t understand.

2. “I apologize if anyone was offended.”

Celebrities aren’t the only ones that use this line, but it’s so predictable at this point that it’s almost comforting. Most importantly, it does not actually mean you’re sorry.

3. “Anyone that truly knows me.”

As we have explained in detail, this route is also popular because the star wants to reiterate that people that actually know her — and not the fans reading the magazine — understand the real meaning behind her words. So there’s no way they should make anyone upset.

Moral of the story here: It’s admirable to put in the effort for an impressive nonapology. But if it so clearly comes across that you don’t really mean it, it’s better to just say nothing at all.

Talk to us

> Give us your news tips.

> Send us a letter to the editor.

> More Herald contact information.

More in Life

"Unsellable Houses" hosts Lyndsay Lamb (far right) and Leslie Davis (second from right) show homes in Snohomish County to Randy and Gina (at left) on an episode of "House Hunters: All Stars" that airs Thursday. (Photo provided by HGTV photo)
Snohomish twin stars of HGTV’s ‘Unsellable Houses’ are on ‘House Hunters’

Lyndsay Lamb and Leslie Davis show homes in Mountlake Terrace, Everett and Lynnwood in Thursday’s episode.

Gus Mansour works through timing with Jeff Olson and Steven Preszler, far right, during a rehearsal for the upcoming annual Elvis Challenge Wednesday afternoon in Everett, Washington on April 13, 2022. (Kevin Clark / The Herald)
Hunka hunka: Elvis Challenge returns to Historic Everett Theatre May 4

The “King of Rock and Roll” died in 1977, but his music and sideburns live on with Elvis tribute artists.

2024 Lexus GX 550 (Photo provided by Lexus)
2024 Lexus GX 550 review

The 2024 Lexus GX 550 has been redesigned from the ground up,… Continue reading

(Photo provided by Lexus)
2024 Lexus TX brings three-row seating back to the SUV lineup

The new luxury SUV is available in three versions, including two with hybrid powertrains.

Music, theater and more: What’s happening in Snohomish County

Jazz vocalist Greta Matassa comes to Snohomish while “Death by Design” ends its run at the Phoenix Theatre in Edmonds.

Mukilteo Police Chief Andy Illyn and the graphic he created. He is currently attending the 10-week FBI National Academy in Quantico, Virginia. (Photo provided by Andy Illyn)
Help wanted: Unicorns for ‘pure magic’ career with Mukilteo police

“There’s a whole population who would be amazing police officers” but never considered it, the police chief said.

To most, tiles are utilitarian. To some, they’re a sought-after art form.

Collectors particularly prize tiles made by early 20th century art potteries. This Wheatley piece sold for $216 at auction.

Spring plant sales in Snohomish County

Find perennials, vegetable starts, shrubs and more at these sales, which raise money for horticulture scholarships.

beautiful colors of rhododendron flowers
With its big, bright blooms, Washington’s state flower is wowing once again

Whether dwarf or absolutely ginormous, rhodies put on a grand show each spring. Plus, they love the Pacific Northwest.

Whidbey duo uses fencing to teach self-discipline, sportsmanship to youth

Bob Tearse and Joseph Kleinman are sharing their sword-fighting expertise with young people on south Whidbey Island.

Glimpse the ancient past in northeast England

Hadrian’s Wall stretches 73 miles across the isle. It’s still one of England’s most thought-provoking sights.

I accidentally paid twice for my hotel. Can I get a refund?

Why did Valeska Wehr pay twice for her stay at a Marriott property in Boston? And why won’t Booking.com help her?

Support local journalism

If you value local news, make a gift now to support the trusted journalism you get in The Daily Herald. Donations processed in this system are not tax deductible.