No drones at Super Bowl, except for the prognosticators

If you’re not a football fan, today is an excellent day to go to Costco and enjoy the surreal experience of being there relatively alone on a Sunday.

For eager Seahawks fans, pre-game coverage officially bottomed out Friday with a report on the state of Russell Wilson’s hair (he’s growing it out). Let the game begin, for the love of all things “12.” But first, a message from our sponsor, the headlines:

FAA Declares Super Bowl XLIX A ‘No Drone Zone’?”: “It’s not like the White House; we need real security here,” FAA officials probably did not say.

Pro wrestler cheats at Wing Bowl, hides food in fanny pack”: Was his greasy ruse exposed when a pack of drooling dogs surrounded and pawed at him? Due to his mode of cheating, was he also issued a citation from the fashion police?

Man who died in 2012 gets reappointed to county board”: Well, why mess with what works? Stay the course.

Your genes may be to blame for your motion sickness, 23andMe says”: Well, it’s either that, or your lack of willpower and discipline. “I simply choose not to barf.” “Rats. Wrong again.” Or are willpower and discipline also inheritable traits? “I would try harder, but you know, I come from a long line of lazy.”

Researchers develop robot that walks and flies like a vampire bat”: They hope that the robot can be used for inaccessible search and rescue missions. Gee, after being lost in the wilderness for days, what could be more comforting than to be rescued by a vampire? Or to have one hovering overhead?

Wake up and smell the fridge that brews coffee”: Doesn’t it go against the entire concept to have a heating element in your refrigerator? Kind of like putting an icemaker in the shower?

Woman accused of recording adult film in university library”: That would be Oregon State University. The master thespians no doubt couldn’t pass up the chance to have a “clever” mascot-themed film title.

Idaho salamander bill squashed over federal overreach fears”: A student trying for the fifth time to get the Legislature to name the giant salamander (Dicamptodon aterrimus) the state amphibian was thwarted, due to worries that it would somehow cause the federal government to step in and declare the salamander “protected.”

Which led Frank Lundberg, a herpetologist, who testified in support of the bill, to say: “It is a mistake to ever overestimate the ignorance of the Idaho Legislature.” Likely he meant “underestimate” but point taken.

As if to support Lundberg’s conclusion, Rep. Ken Andrus, R-Lava Hot Springs, said he voted against the salamander because they grossed him out as a boy.

“They were ugly, they were slimy, and they were creepy,” Andrus said. “And I’ve not gotten over that. So to elevate them to the status of being the state amphibian, I’m not there yet.”

Kind of helps keep the foibles of our Legislature in perspective … a little bit.

Halftime trivia: In 2007, our Legislature bravely ignored the specter of federal overreach and named the Pacific chorus frog (Pseudacris regilla) the state amphibian at the request of a third grade class.

Today in ponds and mud all over the state you can hear their croaking chorus: Go Seahawks. Go Seahawks. Go Seahawks.

Carol MacPherson: 425-339-3472; cmacpherson@heraldnet.com

Talk to us

> Give us your news tips.

> Send us a letter to the editor.

> More Herald contact information.

More in Opinion

toon
Editorial cartoons for Thursday, March 28

A sketchy look at the news of the day.… Continue reading

Initiative promoter Tim Eyman takes a selfie photo before the start of a session of Thurston County Superior Court, Wednesday, Feb. 10, 2021, in Olympia, Wash. Eyman, who ran initiative campaigns across Washington for decades, will no longer be allowed to have any financial control over political committees, under a ruling from Superior Court Judge James Dixon Wednesday that blasted Eyman for using donor's contributions to line his own pocket. Eyman was also told to pay more than $2.5 million in penalties. (AP Photo/Ted S. Warren)
Editorial: Initiative fee increase protects process, taxpayers

Bumped up to $156 from $5, the increase may discourage attempts to game the initiative process.

Protecting forests and prevent another landslide like Oso

Thank you for the powerful and heartbreaking article about the Oso landslide… Continue reading

Boeing’s downfall started when engineers demoted

Boeing used to be run by engineers who made money to build… Continue reading

Learn swimming safety to protect kids at beach, pool

Don’t forget to dive into water safety before hitting the pool or… Continue reading

Comment: Why shootings have decreased but gun deaths haven’t

High-capacity magazines and ‘Glock switches’ that allow automatic fire have increased lethality.

Washington state senators and representatives along with Governor Inslee and FTA Administrator Nuria Fernandez break ground at the Swift Orange Line on Tuesday, April 19, 2022 in Lynnwood, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Editorial: Community Transit making most of Link’s arrival

The Lynnwood light rail station will allow the transit agency to improve routes and frequency of buses.

An image of Everett Mayor Cassie Franklin is reflected in a storefront window during the State of the City Address on Thursday, March 21, 2024, at thee Everett Mall in Everett, Washington. (Ryan Berry / The Herald)
Editorial: State of city address makes case for Everett’s future

Mayor Franklin outlines challenges and responses as the city approaches significant decisions.

FILE - The massive mudslide that killed 43 people in the community of Oso, Wash., is viewed from the air on March 24, 2014. (AP Photo/Ted S. Warren, File)
Editorial: Mapping landslide risks honors those lost in Oso

Efforts continue in the state to map areas prone to landslides and prevent losses of life and property.

toon
Editorial cartoons for Wednesday, March 27

A sketchy look at the news of the day.… Continue reading

Burke: ‘Why not write about Biden, for once?’ Don’t mind if I do.

They asked; I’ll oblige. Let’s consider what the president has accomplished since the 2020 election.

Comment: Catherine missed chance to dispel shame of cancer

She wasn’t obligated to do so, but she might have used her diagnosis to educate a sympathetic public.

Support local journalism

If you value local news, make a gift now to support the trusted journalism you get in The Daily Herald. Donations processed in this system are not tax deductible.