Mac and jeez
It still counts as a vegetable, right? The merger of Kraft and Heinz to become the largest food company in the world will likely mean lost jobs for some workers of each company. “Even though it is painful for the people involved, those resources will be freed up for other, potentially more productive, uses,” said a finance professor about the deal (Page A9).
Yes, those “resources” who lost their jobs can now find service-sector “uses” that will pay them just enough to afford a box of Kraft macaroni and cheese with a squirt of Heinz ketchup.
Need cheese? Take a Whiz: Among Kraft’s more famous products is Cheez Whiz, the spreadable cheese that was first introduced in 1952 and is a key ingredient in Philly cheesesteaks (Page A9).
Cheez Whiz also held the title of Most Unappetizing Name for a Food Item until the release of Libby’s Potted Meat Food Product.
The truth is still out there: Fox announced that it will bring back “The X-Files” and Scully and Mulder, FBI agents who investigate strange occurrences, for a six-episode run (Page D6).
Scully remains skeptical of Mulder’s conspiracy theories, even after he shows her his Illuminati identity card.
—Jon Bauer, Herald staff
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