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Cable’s been cut: Despite spending $17 million on lobbyists, Comcast has dropped its planned merger with Time Warner Cable after federal regulators balked at the monopoly the cable giant would have represented.

Part of the problem may have been the lobbyists. When they would set up meetings with members of Congress, the lobbyists could only say they’d arrive sometime between 9 a.m. and 4 p.m.

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Better living through unpronounceable chemicals: PepsiCo, citing poor sales numbers for Diet Pepsi, says it will remove the soft drink’s artificial sweetener aspartame because of consumer concerns. Instead of aspartame, Diet Pepsi will be sweetened with a blend of sucralose and acesulfame potassium.

Among the new slogans PepsiCo is considering: “Diet Pepsi: It’s Acesulfame Potassi-Yummy.

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Channel-surfing the vast cultural wasteland: The Syfy channel pits schlock against schlock as crocodiles and snakes battle it out in “Lake Placid vs. Anaconda” tonight at 9.

The victor faces the winner of “Avalanche Shark vs. Sharknado.”

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