I ‘m nothing if not a public servant.
I want TV shows to be enjoyable for you, and I want to let you know which ones you should avoid.
With that in mind, I can’t help but take it personally that despite my personal quest to get you to stop watching these terrible TV disaster movies, millions of people keep tuning in.
Sunday night kicks off another two-night NBC event, “10.5: Apocalypse.”
This time, the faults are breaking apart all over the place. And if you thought this country was divided before, just wait until the end of this.
A pair of two-hour installments will air at 9 p.m. Sunday and Tuesday on KING-TV, Channel 5.
Since I’m not going to start recommending stuff like this, and you’re probably not going to stop watching it, let’s compromise.
Do what I did (remember, I get paid to watch).
I get tapes from the network, but you’ll have to record it.
Then watch it on fast-forward.
It will waste half the time, leaving room in your life for more constructive things, like learning to crochet, or doodling on a napkin, or counting how many times you blink in an hour.
You’ll still see all the special effects stuff, such as the Las Vegas strip crumbling to the ground and Mount St. Helens blowing its top again.
And you’ll be able to follow the story just fine.
The long, lingering pauses, Dean Cain busting through a cinder block wall like Superman, the frantic running and the aghast stares from the characters at the destruction they’re watching unfold will totally translate.
And you’ll save yourself from wincing at the dialogue.
Just pretend they’re all saying really poignant stuff.
If you persist in watching it, this new miniseries picks up where the last one left off. The last one, mind you, looked pretty bad.
The Space Needle toppled to the ground and all sorts of other havoc took place.
But this one’s worse.
Apparently, the last one didn’t really stop like they thought it did. It took another sweeps month to get it going again, and, if you check your calendar, it’s May.
The disaster flick is a sweeps month delicacy and you eagerly eat it up.
So enjoy Kim Delaney making her return as earthquake expert Dr. Samantha Hill, and Beau Bridges coming back as President Hollister, no first name needed, who can’t really do anything but keep his fingers crossed in hopes that things will work out.
Veteran actor Frank Langella (“Good Night and Good Luck”) plays Hill’s father, a retired seismologist who’s now a professional poker player. Langella, a very good actor, looks as bored as viewers will be throughout the film.
Dare to watch, if you must.
But, please, be kind.
Fast-forward.
Victor Balta’s TV column runs Mondays and Thursdays on the A&E page. Reach him at 425-339-3455 or vbalta@heraldnet.com.
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