Bye, Sepp: Four days ago, Sepp Blatter was re-elected head of soccer’s governing body and defiantly declared he would clean up a widening corruption scandal. On Tuesday, the FIFA capo announced he will resign as president because “I do not feel I have a mandate from the entire world of football.”
Blatter’s post-FIFA plans are unclear, but if he wants to keep the Justice Department off his case, he might consider taking a job at one of the “Too Big to Fail” banks.
Let me say this about that: Secretary of State John Kerry on Tuesday successfully underwent surgery for a broken leg suffered in a bicycle accident Saturday in France.
And contrary to what you may have heard, there is absolutely no truth to the rumor that doctors sedated Kerry by playing audio of his speeches.
The clock is ticking: Trevor Noah, who will replace Jon Stewart as host of Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show,” is slated to begin his new job Sept. 28.
For folks keeping score at home, this means Noah has 117 days to become funny.
— Mark Carlson, Herald staff
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