Dear family and friends — and an extra special “woof” to all my fellow poodles out there!
It’s hard to believe it’s December already. I hope your year has been as abundantly joyful as mine. Sitting down to write my holiday letter has really made me paws — ha! A little pun there! — and reflect upon how awesome 2020 has been.
The major change has been that after years of trying to convince them, my people have finally agreed to stay home all the time. This has improved my quality of life like you wouldn’t believe.
Nobody forces me out in the cold to walk the girl child to school in the morning, a journey that is uphill, both ways, I might add. The woman doesn’t lock me in the crate when she leaves to do who knows what. The boy child never comes home smelling like high school. And the man? Well, that’s the best part. I was always his best friend, but now I’m his coworker, too.
Never in my wildest poodle dreams did I think I would enter the workforce at my advanced age, but yes, I now put in long hours, Monday to Friday, at his desk. Zoom meetings, Microsoft Teams, international phone calls — I’m there for all of them. Sometimes he nudges me with his foot if my snoring gets too loud, but I know that me napping next to him really makes a difference.
The workplace compensation package has been great, because he feeds me table scraps when the woman isn’t looking. My job comes with healthcare, and my prescription flea medicine has never run out. Tasty!
This year’s heavy work schedule meant that I didn’t have the opportunity to travel like I normally would. Usually, I vacation at Cascade Kennels in Woodinville a few times each summer, but that wasn’t on the docket for 2020.
I did visit Grammy’s house in Snohomish one weekend while the people went camping. As you might imagine, Grammy’s house was paradise. Her back yard has lots of good things to smell, and she serves kibble and gravy for dinner.
As incredible as 2020 has been, life isn’t completely perfect. There’s still a horrible rabbit problem in the front yard — but don’t worry, I’m on it. I bark ferociously whenever I see one of those vermin. I’m not sure what’s going on between them and the squirrels. Neither can be trusted, that’s for sure. When my people talk about a divided nation, I know exactly what they mean. There are animals everywhere.
I’ve also put in overtime protecting my people from delivery truck drivers. They have our house under surveillance and sneak up to the porch several times a week. Thanks to me, they’ve never broken through the perimeter.
Well, that about wraps up my news for another year. Not to brag or anything, but life inside the house has been super exciting. 2020 has been the best year ever!
Yours truly,
Merlin
Jennifer Bardsley publishes books under her own name and the pseudonym Louise Cypress. Find her online on Instagram @jenniferbardsleyauthor, on Twitter @jennbardsley or on Facebook as Jennifer Bardsley Author. Email her at teachingmybabytoread@gmail.com.
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