Forum: Kept or not, making resolutions is a helpful process

By Kathy Solberg / Herald Forum

While I’m not a resolution person, the cathartic feeling of a new year energizes me like little else.

Resolutions offer a chance to look back at what worked and what didn’t, to look ahead at what can be, and to discern my role in creating the future I want to be a part of. Rather than setting myself up for broken promises, the reflection process and new horizon offer an opportunity to realign with what makes me feel good and what impacts those around me; in family, work, relationships and self.

Lately, I’ve been pondering my gifts: those character traits, skills and “teeny, tiny talents” that make me who I am. Whether you view them through religious belief or wisdom teachings, these are your unique contributions. They are your personality DNA. I believe time spent noticing what you bring to this world is time well spent. These are the things that when you do them, time flies and you emerge energized rather than depleted. Some call it flow or a state of zen. I tend to believe it aligns with my purpose.

What if you focus on how you can use these gifts for the greater good? I was once asked what work was meant to flow from me; what am I a vessel or instrument for? The image of an instrument with music pouring from it was powerful, though daunting. While I’m still discovering the full answer, I have an idea.

Beyond exploring our unique gifts, I remind myself to hold up four areas each year. They’re nowhere as prolific as Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, “The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom,” (though one comes directly from there), but they guide my personal compass.

First: How do you spend your time? The saying goes, “Where your time goes is where your values show.” For many of us, work can seem like our highest priority based on hours invested. We live in a culture that often puts work above all else, and with rising costs, getting ahead can feel necessary.

The solution? Guard your family and personal time ruthlessly, treating it as non-negotiable as any work meeting. When weighing time requests, ask yourself: “Will this matter in five years?” “To what end?” When we value time as life energy, like money, our decisions shift.

Second: Be impeccable to your word. Many of us are people pleasers with positive intentions, but feeling overwhelmed can make follow-through difficult. Instead of automatic commitments, try naming your intention and discussing capacity. Often, there are creative solutions; doing things together, reprioritizing, or simply listening, which can be the greatest gift. Not following through can break trust and cause communication challenges. While a conversation takes a bit longer, the relationship will be the stronger for that added effort and awareness. And the person you want to please is likely only going to be swayed when you are unable to honor your word and they likely already have a degree of liking for you if you are at this place.

Third: Notice. This has been my mantra for years. Notice. Notice patterns, notice what’s going right, notice the world around you. Walking the Camino de Santiago trail taught me this; my slower pace meant seeing things others missed in their rush. Now, I make a point to notice and name something about each person I interact with, from grocery clerks to baristas. This simple act of recognition costs nothing but fills both giver and receiver. Also notice the patterns in your life and when something is put in front of you more than once.

Finally: Connect; to nature, yourself and others. In these times of prevalent loneliness and anxiety, connection can feel like a luxury. Yet it’s essential for both professional growth and personal well-being. Often connection fosters movement which promotes positivity. When we understand our gifts, we can use them as a foundation for meaningful connection, offering what we uniquely bring to a world that needs it. As you reflect on what is needed now and how you can contribute with your skills and self, the year can have a sense of optimism as you make a difference and connect to what is around you.

Kathy Solberg leads a consulting business, CommonUnity. Learn more at www.commonunity-us.com.