By James W. MacDicken / Herald Forum
As an educator for more than 40 years — seven in Snohomish County — I have observed a variety of parental skills and strategies. But to those parents who have had a positive and lasting effect on their children there seems to be a few common characteristics centered on respect, giving, dignity and caring that provided stability and growth.
The following are just a few specifics exemplified.
Teach your child to:
1. Respect the rights and properties of others.
2. Understand rules and regulations while being able to respectfully question authority.
3. See the worth in others and feel open and freely acknowledge and sincerely compliment.
4. Trek their own path without forcing them into “blue-printed” interests and activities.
5. Discern the difference between constructive criticism and insults, and grow from suggested evaluation.
6. Be honest and accept personal failure as a springboard to success while minimizing defense mechanisms to temporarily ease the pain.
7. Be eclectic in their interests to diversify their minds and appreciate the achievement and talents of others as well as themselves. That child will never have time to be bored.
8. Find an area where their child can excel and establish self-worth by being unique. Every person needs to attain status through their diverse talent. If these are not attained in a constructive manner they will be acquired through different means.
9. Give for the welfare of others or groups with a minimal need for feedback or pats on the back. It is hard to give without looking for extrinsic rewards.
10. Sincerely care about others while maintaining humility and deep seated respect. Be sincere and selective when giving compliments to others for their demonstrated talent and achievement.
11. Be honest with themselves and to others. Weaknesses can only be strengthened if identified and understood. There is no payback for honesty except honesty itself.
12. Maintain high principles without having a condescending attitude.
13. Love respectfully, without looking for selfish returns.
14. Laugh at yourself while not being defensive or self-defeated.
James W. MacDicken, a retired teacher who taught in Snohomish County, lives in Olympia.
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