Too Human reviewed… and it gets ugly.

  • Thursday, August 21, 2008 10:55am
  • Sports

After ten years of developmental limbo, after ten years of reviewers playing snippets of the game and declaring it an unqualified success, after ten long years Silicon Knights has finally released Too Human to the fawning masses.

Personally, I would have gladly waited 10 more if that means Dennis Dyack would get it right. Maybe if he spent less time trolling forums and spent more time with his development team this game would have been the critical success he envisioned.

Right now, Too Human is Too Bad.

Too Human is an RPG style “brawler” that re-invisions Norse mythology ala Tron, as the gods themselves are cybernetically enhanced beings who must repel a machine invasion that threatens the realms of man. As Baldur, you are able to select five skill trees to customize yourself, which are berserker, defender, champion, commando, and bioengineer.

Sounds good? That’s the problem – the game has always sounded good when reviewed piecemeal but in actuality, the game is a mess.

Graphically it is superior and makes the most of the Xbox 360’s hardware, but the game play – if not the story – are simplistic at best and underdone at worst. While there may be five classes in the game, the mobs you fight are all dealt with in the same manner no matter what class you may be. Melee fights are fun, and once you get into a pattern and start juggling the mobs you begin to see where the game might become fun. But ranged weapons are clumsy and do not target other mobs as quickly as you need them to.

Perhaps the most annoying feature of this game occurs in death, which triggers an insufferably long resurrection sequence as a cybernetic Valkyrie comes to give you a new lease on life. This cannot be skipped. At first it was annoying, but then I decided to play a new game: how many things can I do during a long and insufferable cut scene. Let’s see; I did some laundry, made a sandwich, vacuumed my room, and unloaded the dishwasher. Hurray for chores, boo for fun.

Another aspect of this game that annoys me to no end is the controls. Combat is basically controlled by the right analog stick of your Xbox 360 controller. Yes, when you move the stick, you attack.

Is it me or is that just a little too simplistic? Why not just slave combat controls to the start button? Hit start = you win. Manual dexterity and skill doesn’t seem too important when you can play this game with your feet.

This game is a rental at most and at the very least a pass. I would only recommend it to people who have cut me off in traffic or talk during movies.

Mmmmmm… “sandvich.” Team Fortress 2 Heavy players just got a shot in the arm. Always entertaining Valve released an update today that saw the tank-like Heavy recive some interesting updates: “Natasha,” a new mini-gun that actually slows down opponents; the “Killing Gloves of Boxing” which extends gives the Heavy five-seconds of gaurunteed crits; and “The Sandvich.”

Ah, the sandvich.

The sandvich will replenish the Heavy’s health by 120 points. Great for playing defense, but beware: the Heavy is basically incapacitated for four seconds while he eats, leaving him vulnerable to… well… everything.

Here’s the Valve video for the sandvich. Beware, hilarity ensues.

Talk to us

> Give us your news tips.

> Send us a letter to the editor.

> More Herald contact information.

More in Sports

Prep wrestling roundup for Saturday, Jan. 11

Everett wrestler dominates at Braided 64.

Seahawks president of football operations / general manager John Schneider and  head coach Mike Macdonald prepare during the Day 1 of the NFL Draft on April 25, 2024. (Photo courtesy of the Seattle Seahawks)
How culpable is John Schneider after another Seahawks dud?

Seattle’s GM has failed to put together a strong offensive line.

Mariner’s Frankie Bouah (3) picks up Glacier Peak’s Reed Nagel (11) past halfcourt on Jan. 10, 2025 during a Wesco 4A league game at Mariner High School.
Glacier Peak boys pass a tough test from the Marauders

The Grizzlies pulled away late to beat Mariner 58-35, improved to 11-1.

The Meadowdale bench and coaches react to a three point shot during the game on Friday, Jan. 3, 2025 in Lynnwood, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Weekend girls basketball prep roundup for Jan. 10-11

Meadowdale girls pick up a pair of weekend wins.

Jackson’s Joey Gosline reacts to the score during the game against Squalicum on Friday, Dec. 27, 2024 in Mountlake Terrace, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Weekend boys basketball prep roundup for Jan. 10-11

Late 3-pointer propels Jackson boys past Lake Stevens.

Ryan Nembhard’s return guides Gonzaga to win over WSU

Senior guard overcomes first-half foul trouble to lead Bulldogs.

Snohomish’s Sienna Capelli is fouled by Stanwood's Georgia Lenz while trying to take a shot during the game on Thursday, Jan. 9, 2025 in Snohomish, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Snohomish girls gain sole control of Wesco North

The Panthers played suffocating defense late to beat Stanwood 62-49.

Everett Silvertips forward Austin Roest playing in a game last season. The 20-year-old forward played 203 games with Everett before he signed an entry-level contract with the Nashville Predators on March 1, 2024. (Photo Courtesy: Everett Silvertips).
Tips forward to return after NHL re-assignment, injury rehab

The NHL’s Nashville Predators re-assigned Austin Roest to the Everett Silvertips on Thursday.

Tips acquire Shantz, ship off Petruk at WHL Trade Deadline

The Everett Silvertips made trades with the Regina Pats and Kelowna Rockets on Thursday.

Prep roundup for Thursday, Jan. 9

Jackson, Getchell, Meadowdale earn league wrestling wins.

Prep swim and dive roundup for Thursday, Jan. 9

Snohomish schools score wins at home pool

Seattle Kraken goaltender Philipp Grubauer (31) attempts to block a shot by the Columbus Blue Jackets' Zach Werenski, not pictured, during the second period at Nationwide Arena on Thursday, Jan. 9, 2025, in Columbus, Ohio. (Jason Mowry / Getty Images / Tribune News Services)
Kraken drop fourth straight with sloppy loss to Blue Jackets

Defensive breakdowns and turnovers lead to 6-2 loss at Columbus.

Support local journalism

If you value local news, make a gift now to support the trusted journalism you get in The Daily Herald. Donations processed in this system are not tax deductible.