Thanks. Now, go behind that brick wall and poke all the packages with this stick.
O, Canada, you’re stoned and staring at your hands.
Apologies, love letters and raises for everybody.
You’re not laughing at us; you’re laughing with us, right?
Never mind the Supreme Court; we want to work in a lab and watch animals get stoned.
In solidarity with the residents of the Carolinas, we’re wearing our high-water pants.
We haven’t had this much fun since trying to guess who Deep Throat was.
Suprisingly, our resume was rejected for a job opening at the White House press office.
The smoke cleared long enough for us to see what happened in the news. It can come back now.
Read this before our security clearance is pulled.
Please present your photo ID before reading this.
Witch season! Wabbit season! Which season?
Trump and Putin go to Helsinki and back and forth.
President Trump went to Europe, and all we got was this balloon.
So long, Scott; hello tariffs; farewell plastic sporks
Raccoons aren’t the only ones with impulse control issues.
We’re not taking any chances. We’re staying away from anything stronger than Sleepy Time tea.
Book’s open; place your bets on this week’s news that wasn’t.
And we won’t tell her the waffles you brought her are just Eggos cut into squares.
This week: Doctor’s notes, Hobby Lobby’s latest craft project and Father Pat Conroy’s return.
